Home > Farting, Topic Discussion > Are Your Farts Half Baked?

Are Your Farts Half Baked?

Today I would like to begin a preliminary discussion about fart bubbles.  However, first we must review the 2nd theory of thermodynamics to fully understand this concept.  This law states that the entropy of a system must always increase or remain constant.  Successful reactions are entropically favored, or move from a system of more order to a system of less order.  I don’t have all day to explain this to you people so try and remember 8th grade will you?  In this post you may draw the following parallels: fart bubble equals an isolated system of energy.  This energy must become more random or disorganized (entropy).  For the law of thermodynamics to hold this energy must be dissipated or the apocalypse will be upon us.

Now, imagine a traditional fart bomb.  You are standing/walking, having activated your bowels after a most delicious meal, and the sensation to drop a reast bomb is received by your brain.  In turn, brain activates muscles which allow the slippage of fart bubble(s) into the air.  Usually this will dissipate into your pants, through your material or out the waist band near the small of your back.  The fact that you smell the bomb is proof of this entropy.  I think we can all agree that this teeming bubble of methane gas is just waiting to dissipate into randomness.

But what if you cut off the normal pathway of retreat?  What happens when you are slacking with poor posture on the couch and are essentially sealing off the traditional escape route?  The groin ripple of course!  I will discuss from a man’s perspective.  The reast bomb slides out your anus, glides across the grundle, splits at the scrotum and ripples through the crease between your man parts and leg only to release through the front waist band of your pants immediately into your face.  These are completely horrific and amazing all at the same time.  The ripple itself is quite thrilling/amazing/disturbing and simply cannot be explained with the English language.  However, the smell, oh the smell from a fart bubble escaping directly under your nose is putrid.  You see, there is not enough time for the entropy to take hold and you get a highly concentrated hit directly into your nostrils.  It has happened to me and it has happened to you!  This is thermodynamics at its finest and a completely fascinating subject worthy of serious scientific discussion.

Which brings me to my twice baked theory.  Now I cannot confirm or deny that this actually occurs but I do have legitimate sources and I would challenge anyone to refute my claims.  When traditional escape is sealed off from a fart released by a woman, the bubble will follow the path of least resistance as it did with the man.  However, since the fart bubble does not have the scrotum to slide it one way or the other (or split in two) where else can it go but straight into the babymaker only to be released at a later time in a gigantic twice baked queef!

  1. HuPhlungPu
    June 9, 2011 at 10:03 pm

    papasquat, this post truly made my day. i feel like a school kid…guiltily laughing over the use of the word, “queef.” bless you for blessing us with this awesome food for thought.

  1. June 14, 2011 at 9:23 am

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