Home > Advice, Poo in the News, Topic Discussion > Go Eat Sh*t – No, I’m Serious!

Go Eat Sh*t – No, I’m Serious!

There is a fascinating topic which I have been thinking about a lot lately. Recently I watched the Will Ferrell survival episode with Bear Grylls where Ferrell keeps asking when they are going to drink their own urine. This appears to be a standard trick in the survival world as urine is both sterile and hydrating. Side note: did you know that one can urinate on their own toes to kill off athlete’s foot and other fungus-related maladies? Do this the next time you are afflicted and save yourself a co-pay.

Anyways, this really got me thinking about what I would do if I had to eat my own poo to survive. Don’t tell me you haven’t thought of this at least once in your lifetime. If this concept disgusts you keep reading because I am here to help. A couple of days ago this article hit the newswires – CLICK HERE.

This Japanese scientist was commissioned by the government to figure out what to do with their sewer mud problem. Apparently Japan is full of it. Anyway, I’ll let you read the article but in summary this guy figured out a way to make poo steak. Not necessarily a substitute for a nice buttery filtet mignon from Ruth’s Chris but certainly comparable to a pan steak don’t you think? He even broke out the amount of protein, carbohydrates, etc. In taste tests nobody could tell a difference between poo steak and real steak! This scientist deserves our admiration, respect, and a Nobel Prize – he basically just solved long-term space travel and world hunger issues with his poo steak maker.

Which got me thinking. Would you partake of this poo steak? Would you allow your bowels to replace your kitchen? If you answered no to this question let me ask you another – are you willing to recycle paper, plastic, etc? Because eating poo steak is identical to recycling. We are turning something harmful to Mother Nature (toxic poo mud) into something re-useable. Would you rather we dump it into the ocean? May I be so bold as to suggest if you don’t eat the poo steak then you are a selective environmentalist, only caring about Mother Nature when convenient. How dare you! So grab a bottle of A1, fork and knife, and join me in this poo eating revolution.

Incidentally, if steak is not your thing I would propose an alternative recipe.

Poo Chips

By Papa Squat

1. Place wax paper onto cookie sheet

2. Pop a squat and defecate steaming log onto cookie sheet

3. Put in freezer for 1 hour

4. Remove half frozen log from freezer and thinly slice into chips (1-2 mm thickness)

5. Coat poo chip in your favorite batter and place into 350-375 degree oil for frying

6. Remove to paper towel for cooling, sea salt to taste

7. Serve with your favorite dipping sauce (ranch, chipotle mayo, etc)

Warning: may result in sh*t-eating grin

  1. HuPhlungPu
    June 21, 2011 at 5:32 am

    I smell a dinner party coming on. No, literally…I smell it.

    • June 21, 2011 at 8:09 pm

      Question is what would be your condiment of choise? I’m thinking something zesty – like a pesto based oil dip.

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