Home > Bathroom Etiquette, Business Crap, Poo in the News, Topic Discussion > Facebook Kills Productivity? No…Unless It’s On the Toilet.

Facebook Kills Productivity? No…Unless It’s On the Toilet.

There has been endless discussion over the last 5 years around Facebook and its ability to obliterate workplace productivity.  It seems you can’t go more than a week without reading an article like this one from Reuters.

I don’t really get what the big freakin’ deal is.  Who in their right mind gets anything done at their desk?  These articles are missing the key concern.  I bet if you were to poll America’s workforce and ask them where they get their best ideas or where they solve major problems they would say the toilet.  That’s right – the stalls of America are what RUN America.  It’s the only place where one is free from the onslaught of emails, phone calls, office chatter, meetings and so on.  It is a haven where one can sit, dump, and really put his/her mind to work.

But all of that is changing.

Our safe haven of porcelain and tile has been victimized by a digital intrusion that stands to destroy the productivity and inventiveness of America.

That digital disease is the Smart Phone or, alternatively, the tablet PC.  Now when I go to take my dump and think about the task of growing my company’s business, I feel a nagging call from my pocket (not what you are thinking).  Emails, Facebook, Solitaire, ANYTHING is screaming at me to stop thinking and start doing any manner of useless task.  I can’t remember the last time I sat, dumped and spent some time pondering.  Instead I hurry to answer my personal emails or chat with my wife or go my turn on Scrabble.

Honestly, this may be the beginning of the end for America.  With our bathrooms infiltrated by needless waste in the form of binary numbers, we will never come up with the next life changing invention or solution.  Instead we’ll just score 42 points on a triple letter using a Q or a Z – and that is a huge price to pay for the fall of this great nation.

  1. ThePapaSquat
    June 21, 2011 at 2:55 pm

    When else would I call my mother?

    • June 21, 2011 at 8:07 pm

      Your commute, Sundays, anytime but the sacred time.

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