Home > Bathroom Science, Education, Topic Discussion > Open Style Toilet Seats Are The Law!

Open Style Toilet Seats Are The Law!

For years a particular mystery has bothered me significantly. You may have noticed this yourself. Whenever dropping a load in a public bathroom the toilet seat itself is different from toilet seats found in my home and those of my friends. Finally I decided to do some research and get some answers.

The half-answer comes to us from The Toilet Museum  which notes that according to section 409.2.2 of the Uniform Plumbing Code “All water closet seats, except those within dwelling units, shall be of the open front type.” Seriously – water closet seat? When was this code written – the 1600s? Regardless, this code has been adopted into law in the majority of the United States, and subsequently my backside gets to enjoy an open front style seat whenever I lay cable in a public restroom.

While interesting this doesn’t really get at the crux of my question. WHY? According to the toilet museum the open front style affords users more sanitary conditions and a greater sense of comfort than its residential closed front cousin. Omniscient Wikipedia teaches me that the gap in the open front reduces the amount of urine that lands on the seat if it is not lifted as most urine will land in the gap (definitely plausible). They also insinuate that the gap exists so that the genitalia of a user cannot contact the seat, thus possibly preventing the transmittal of disease (Note: Dear Man-Whore – this has been essentially disproven so don’t use this as an excuse with girly friend. It will not fly.) Amazing!

In summary, open front seats are more comfortable, easier to keep clean from dribbling urine, and provide clear passage for an STD-infested schlong. Damnit I want one installed in my home immediately. How is it that I have been peeling black bananas on a fully enclosed toilet seat for all of these years when clearly the open front is superior? How many marriages would have been saved without the toilet seat up/down argument? How many doctors office visits prevented? Oh the comfort I have given up without even knowing. From now on I am only crapping at work and the store and boycotting the home porcelain. The benefits clearly outweigh the risks. Join me!

  1. July 15, 2011 at 2:36 pm

    Maybe this is why Doogan’s spouse has the urge to dump at Fred Meyer? Maybe they have fabulous open style toilet seats – offering comfort, cleanliness, and a life free of publicly transmitted STDs! I’m glad I only dump 90% of the time in my office for this reason alone.

  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: