Home > Poop Triggers, Science > Is There a Yield Sign in My Anus?

Is There a Yield Sign in My Anus?

I have become self-aware recently and I must share. As we all know, the body is an amazing specimen and routinely takes care of us despite our own ineptitude’s. Some in the medical world call the gut our 2nd brain. As I said, recently I have become aware of a fascinating aspect of the pooping experience that must be discussed. Is there a yield sign inside my anus? Seriously! No – this is not a post about public pooping fear or old man bowels. This is about the body managing traffic. Let me set up the situation for you.

You had to poo earlier but were in a meeting and had to hold it for a while. In the meantime you are getting significant urges from your yellow bag and you are feeling the need to send it swimming. You rush out of the meeting with both sensations pressing you to walk faster. Hit the stall, dance uncomfortably as you unzip and drop trow and finally feel mental relief as cheek hits porcelain.

This is where the magic happens.

The body recognizes the complex situation about to happen to itself. It is efficient, organized, and safe. No matter how badly I have to fire alarm evacuate my bowels, the sensation to fire Mr. Brown immediately ceases as my body recruits all resources towards draining the lizard first. The second my bladder is empty my body gives the green light and immediately hits the gas (sometimes literally) causing an Old Faithful like explosion into the recently yellowed pool of water.

Am I the only one that this happens to? How come it doesn’t happen at the same time? If it did would there be some horrendous consequence? Is this gender specific or am I just crazy? Do other people do it the other way around? This is a mystery to me. But I don’t need to have the answer. I trust my body to breath for me at night, excrete when necessary, extract vitamins and other necessities from food. Who am I to doubt? Again, the 2nd brain is a genius and is controlling my insides with grace and intelligence. Which is why I propose a new philosophical slogan ala Descartes. Excreto Ergo Sum!

  1. August 8, 2011 at 1:54 pm

    I don’t know about your anus Papa Squat, but my anus most definitley has a yield sign up in it. I have tried, unsuccessfully, on many occasions to squeege and shat at the same time. I have noted that urination is the first to hit the water on every occasion except the most dire situations of diarrhea.

    Super fascinating. I wonder if we can develop a drug that turns off that sign and allows the double deuce? Not sure what the market size would be for that drug…

  2. ventamatic
    August 9, 2011 at 12:59 pm

    thanks for the comment on my posts

    • August 10, 2011 at 9:25 pm

      No prob Vetamatic…come back anytime and I”ll do the same.

  3. August 9, 2011 at 2:26 pm

    LMAO! I think I have a ‘biohazard’ sign in mine… at least if I don’t yet, I need one.

    • August 10, 2011 at 9:25 pm

      Won’t do much good in you – you might want to put the sign on the outside of your body for ample human warning!

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