Home > Advice, Medicine > The Proper Precaution and Treatment of BUTT ROT

The Proper Precaution and Treatment of BUTT ROT

You and I share a common enemy. This sneaky devil snakes its way into your life right when you are living life to the fullest. There you are, enjoying a beautiful summer day in the park, playing frisbee and having a picnic with friends. Sure, its humid and hot – but everyone is having a grand time and there are plenty of beverages to keep you hydrated and happy. As the afternoon wears on, you nearly forget the time. Suddenly its dinner time and everyone agrees that it is the perfect evening to eat out at a restaurant, preferably one with an outside deck. While you’re enjoying your coal oven pizza and laughing about the day’s shenanigans, you start to feel it. At first it is just a ghost of a pain, forming slowly around your anal circle. You compensate by shifting on to your right cheek, and then your left, struggling to keep the butt skin from touching. But you are fighting a losing battle my friend. Inevitably, you waddle home from your car and jump immediately in the shower to try to rid yourself of the screaming agony that occurs every time you move your legs. Yes – you are now the victim of a scorching case of butt rot.

Butt rot is no respecter of persons. It will attack the young and old, male and female, bond and free. Butt rot is characterized by a severe redness of the skin around your anus, nuts and crevasses. Once it has taken hold there is little you can do to stop it. Only proper preventative measures can protect you. Having just recently fallen victim to butt rot this weekend, let me assure you that I was foolish and did not take proper precautions. I am paying dearly for it. In order to protect YOU from the same fate as mine, please heed the following advice:


1. The Environment – butt rot is notorious for developing during hot, sticky and humid days. With the right amount of humidity it doesn’t take an entire day to get butt rot, just a mere hour or two of movement. Butt rot also prays on those at the beach, where sticky salt water and sand can create the perfect environment for butt chaffage. If you know you will be experiencing any of these environments, then continue with prevention

2. The Preparation – Gold Bond Medicated Powder. Trust me, this is your best friend in the fight against BR. Apply a generous portion of this magic dust all around your anus, nutsack and crevasses. Liberal portions is key. Bring it with you and apply as needed throughout the day to keep things dry and cool. Also, enjoy the cold sensation when it hits your sensitive areas!

3. The Added Effort – Today is not a day to wear loose-fitting underwear. In fact, the best your can wear is a tight-fitting brief that you can hike up to ensure cotton is touching all skin surface areas. Butt rot requires skin-on-skin love to develop its desired chaff. Don’t give it the pleasure of shredding up your man/woman parts!

If you follow these measures, you are sure to emerge victorious from your day of fun in the sun. If not, I pity you and I feel your pain (literally…I feel it right now). I strongly recommend you take a shower, dry off, and then apply a liberal amount of Boudreaux’s Butt Paste to the entire affected area as soon as you can. And then sit tight and let the medication work its magic over the next 12 hours. I promise, you’ll be back to walking like a normal human being in no time!

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