Home > Parenting > Have a Baby and Finally Embrace Poo!

Have a Baby and Finally Embrace Poo!

A child is one of the biggest game changers life can bring your way.  Before having our first child I was ignorant to the effect it would have on my life in nearly every single aspect (almost all positive – I’m definitely pro baby making).  Not only did a baby change the way my wife and I spend our time, but it also changed our goals, our sleep, our savings, our relationship, our vacations, our friends and much more.  But one of the single greatest areas of change that I have seen since having children is our speech!  Yes, our speech. 
 
I’m not referring simply to baby talk here.  A good half of our conversation is somehow now related to or centered around children.  What did they do, how did they grow, what did they say?  They become a focal point of your life and no topic regarding your child is taboo.  One of the greatest examples is how poo has become a commonplace topic of discussion.  Before our first was born, we rarely found occasion to discuss the wonderful world that is fecal matter.  We did not ignore the subject by any means, but it just wasn’t a focal point of our marriage.  But the second we had a child – poopy talk was ON!  Every day after work I’d go through the normal questions:  What color was it?  How many times did he splat his diaper with poop spray?  Did he have a blowout?  Is he constipated?  POO POO POO!  Before we knew it this obsession with our child’s bowel movements went in new and seemingly horrifying directions.
 
Here’s the scene.  Our son hasn’t pooped for a while and we know he isn’t really drinking very much.  We have had MANY discussions to this effect and are wondering if any measures should be taken.  He is only squeezing out little pebbles instead of the nice, juicy pies he is supposed to be dropping according to the baby books.  As my wife is changing his wet diaper, we suddenly realize that his anus is opening up and we can see the beginnings of a wonderful turtle head poo forming.  But it’s no easy stone to pass…so what do we do?  We start to cheer and encourage our kid to dump like he’s never dumped before.  As he squeezes his cheeks and face in full concentration, my wife and I scream and clap and cheer him along.  Finally the log breaks through and begins pouring out like soft serve ice cream (or one of those Play-Doh log makers).  It was like we were watching someone give birth – it was magic!  We cleaned him up and hugged him and kissed him and celebrated.  
 
And that’s when we knew we were parents.  You just don’t do that kind of crap for anyone else, do you? 
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