Home > Medicine, Science > Regularity is in the Eye of the Beholder

Regularity is in the Eye of the Beholder

I’ve been hanging out with a sibling of mine recently, who I will call Poops. Poops and I have a fantastic relationship and always have. We are close enough in age to be friends and have always enjoyed doing things together. Additionally, Poops and I both enjoy a good conversation about bowel movements. It is inevitable that in any reunion between the two of us, we will discuss farting, poops stories, and other topics that are dear to the He Shat, She Shat audience. It is in this common bond that Poops and I find our biggest difference. You see, I am regular…and Poops is FAR from regular.

If you would have asked me 10 years ago how long a person should go without taking a solid dump, I probably would have said that after two days a person would die. Considering my 1-3 daily dumps, I thought the waste buildup in any human being would involuntarily burst through the colon after 48 hours without freedom. Poops, on the other hand, is so far from regular that it is sometimes scary. If you ask her what a normal pooping schedule would be, she may claim weekly. A bowel movement for Poops is such a monumental occasion that there was a few year period that she would take a picture of it with her cell phone and text her log to the entire family (and possibly friends). I’ll be honest – they were some impressive logs. A week of build up creates a really dense, fantastically shaped piece of crap! No matter of Activia eating or fiber downing improves the situation. Her body just doesn’t really like to poop like mine does.

It made me wonder, how long can a human being safely go without taking a dump? I tried to research this online and the answers didn’t really corroborate. Some would say 12 days, others 15 days, others much longer. I’m going to stick with my long-held belief that anything longer than 2 days is a sin. Poops lives a life in sin. Do you?

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