Home > Education, Urination > A Call to All Engineers! Help Resolve Urine Dew Problem

A Call to All Engineers! Help Resolve Urine Dew Problem

I am disappointed in society for only one thing.  Sure we have our faults (racism, poverty) and have screwed up often enough but we have also done a lot of amazing things.  This is not meant to be a history lesson but America crushed it during the manufacturing revolution.  We can make crap and we can make it good.  Blending science and technology are what we do best.  We put a man on the moon with a roll of duct tape and abacus for crying out loud.

Which brings me to my disappointment with society.  The other day I had drained a couple of soda’s and finally get a chance to relieve the pounding going on in my bladder.  I hit the urinal and quickly unleash my fury upon its vertical walls.  Immediately my arms begin to generate a serious urine dew.  Urine dew is similar to morning dew except instead of water its urine and instead of grass its the hair on my forearms.  I angle to the left and right, take a step and half backwards, and still the urine dew accumulates.  I was screwed.  There was nothing I could do besides either cut off my firehose mid-stream and sprain something, possibly exploding my own penis, or accept my fate.

Unfortunately this was not an isolated incident.  Every man has multiple urine dew experiences.  In fact I would say it happens more often than not anymore.  I mean how hard is it to develop a urinal that does not generate urine dew?  Engineers of the world unite!  Lets get this right.  You can’t tell me that we are able to hook up machines that can suck every ounce of milk from a cow udder without spilling a single drop and we can’t eliminate urine dew.  I refuse to believe!  Why else does MIT exist but to solve these important issues?  If NASA has a crapper for space that suction’s poo out of your anus since gravity isn’t around to help you out THEN we can eliminate urine dew!  Who’s with me?

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  1. September 14, 2011 at 3:23 pm

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