Home > Sex > I Once Got Busy in a Burger King Bathroom

I Once Got Busy in a Burger King Bathroom

I didn’t actually get busy in a Burger King bathroom, but during a recent flight I was taking a good urinate in the small, cramped space that is an airplane bathroom and thought, “Why would anyone want to have sex in a bathroom (shower excluded), let alone an airplane bathroom cubby?”  Don’t you dare start judging me.  It’s not like I’m talking about some unknown, disgusting S&M fetish that is only found in the darkest corners of the sexual perverse.  In fact, if Hollywood had its way, we would believe that sex in the bathroom is extremely commonplace.  Think about all the movies that have featured or implied sex in the bathroom?  Unconvinced?  Let me give you a few song lyrics that sample the concept:

Humpty Hump (Digital Underground) – “I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom.”

Kanye West – “Come and meet me in the bathroom stall and show me why you deserve to have it all.”

Gucci Mane – “Do you in the bathroom of an airplane.”

Nightmare of You – “In the bathroom is where I want you, against the graffiti walls…”

Shwayze – “Take me in the bathroom, take my clothes off.”

Shaggy – “Picture this, we were both butt naked, banging on the bathroom floor”

Just a sample.  But honestly, I just don’t get it.  I understand that some people are excited by the potential of getting caught in a public place.  Others are in a situation where they seemingly can’t wait to get to a more private location (or they are on some serious ecstasy and have no idea what the freak is going on).  Others simply are just looking for a thrill.  But think about the negatives!  First, the bathroom is not a soft place.  There are lots of corners, tiles, and other protruding objects in the bathroom.  Any loss of judgment and you could really bang your head or other body part on something and do real damage.  Second, it’s a place where you urinate and take a dump.  I clearly am not skittish about those subjects, but unless you are Screech from Saved by the Bell or Larry Craig, I don’t think they really have a place in the world of love-making.  Finally, unless you are in a Trump mansion, there really isn’t enough space to do anything substantial.  What a waste, particularly for the female half of the scenario.

The cons just seem to outweight the pros here.  I don’t know, I just don’t see it.

  1. dooganhowsermd
    September 13, 2011 at 9:58 pm

    I’ll take love in an elevator over love in a dirty poo-stained bathroom any day.

  2. HuPhlungPu
    September 14, 2011 at 5:19 am

    this post was remarkably timed, as i just read this article in slate: http://www.slate.com/id/2303602/

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