Home > Bathroom, Business, Humor > Bathroom Stall – Booked from 8:30am to 5:30pm

Bathroom Stall – Booked from 8:30am to 5:30pm

Technology.  It is supposed to be a smarter, more efficient, and ultimately a cheaper way of doing thing.  It makes our lives better – except when it doesn’t.

Sometimes technology gets created that actually makes our lives harder and more sucky.  One example = Microsoft Outlook.  Before email and calendaring someone had to reach you on the phone to discuss business, walk down to your office, or drop a memo off in your mailbox.  Damn you Microsoft.  The Mad Men generation could claim to have forgotten about the meeting, didn’t get the memo, or other amazing excuses that are today rendered limper than your 90 year old grandpa.  At least when you left the office for the evening or that family vacation you were able to leave work at work.  Now?  Damn you RIM and your evil Blackberry invention!!!

I remember when boom boxes became portable, when Sony shrunk the boom box into a walkman, and when I got my first ever portable CD walkman.  Insanity!  That is what technology is supposed to be…making my life better not more sucky!  Then the iPod came along and I thought we had reached Nirvana.  Now?  We should all short Apple stock for inserting a phone into my sacred iPod (and for only giving us 4S instead of 5 – seriously that was a panzy move Apple).

So I suggest a revolution of technology to make our lives better and I want it to start at work.  All too often I have hit the men’s room at my daily scheduled time to find my favorite stall (the handicap stall – more on that later) occupied by some other behemoth.  Do I use another stall?  Absolutely not.  I have chosen my stall after careful test driving of all other stalls and I am now no longer willing to compromise.  So I subtly wait nearby with a rage of disrespect growing inside of me.  Do NOT shatblock my bathroom time!

Here’s the fix.  Instead of scheduling meetings, phone calls, and other crap I don’t care about on my outlook calendar how about putting every stall in the men’s room up for scheduling.  Mine would be a recurring appointment for 15 minutes in the handicap stall of the North Men’s room at 2pm sharp Monday-Friday.  End time = Retirement or being fired, whichever comes first.

I imagine coveted stalls and appointment times becoming a valuable commodity in the workplace.  Seriously ladies are you going to tell me that you would not clamor for this feature in your calendar?  Always get that morning coffee shat blast circa 10 am?  Problems solved thanks to technology.  Let’s get it right this time.

  1. November 1, 2011 at 1:59 pm

    Please, please, PLEASE……don’t make me laugh so hard.

    • ThePapaSquat
      November 1, 2011 at 7:29 pm

      I make no such promises!

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