Home > Farting, Humor > My Car is a Hot Box From Hell

My Car is a Hot Box From Hell

Hey Everyone!  He Shat She Shat here.  Sorry about the sudden drop in posts over the last few days.  You see, it’s that magical time of year when holidays starting popping up left and right, work accelerates at a ridiculous pace in order to finish out the year, and, well, we are all just darn pooped.  Expect the occasional decline in posts.  I’ll be honest – sometimes I’m just too full, fat and tired from the previous night’s party, or work function, or late nighter.
 
You know what else comes with this time of year?  Cold.  Yes, where I live there is much cold to be felt starting now through April.  Each morning is a fight between man and frost or snow.  In order to make the commute to work bearable, I have to crank up the heater and hope it somehow defogs my windshield by the time I hit the freeway.
 
But there are serious repercussions for me having to turn up the heat and shut my windows.  My car turns into a living, breathing hot box of butt air.  You see, I don’t really fart much in my sleep, so when I wake up in the morning I have approximately eight hours of pent-up gas sitting wildly at the tip of my anus.  Its beating on the orifice like that woman in the old K-mart commercials during Christmas:  “Open, Open, Open, Open, Open…”  The second I stand up the air starts to flow and continues throughout the next 2-3 hours.  Often times that air has been stewing around a large poo log, so to put it bluntly, it smells like crap.  Now take that scenario and combine it with me sitting in a compact, heated space for 45 minutes.  What you have there is a high potential for passing out from my own toxic fumes.  At the very least, my clothes get saturated with my own stink and I am the shame of the office.
 
Winter can really blow, you know? 
Categories: Farting, Humor Tags: , , , , , , ,
  1. ThePapaSquat
    November 19, 2011 at 4:28 pm

    I have experienced the pain your car is going through personally. At least your vehicle doesn’t have the ability to smell you…

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