Home > Humor > Is That a Pube On My Desk?

Is That a Pube On My Desk?

Maybe it’s just me but there is one thing that you will find on every corner of this Earth and relates to us all.  You think I’m going to say shat but you would be wrong.  While it’s in the top 3 it is not as prevalent as transport molecules.  What are transport molecules?  It’s an affectionate term that my wife likes to use when referring to pubes.

Call them what you want but they are everywhere.  They grow spontaneously, shake loose at every turn, blow this way and that with the wind, and somehow find their way onto our clothes, inside of our cars, and most disturbingly into our food and drink.  Seriously who hasn’t flossed their teeth with another person’s pube after accidentally ingesting it with a bite of lasagna?  Feel free to dry heave but it’s true and you know it has happened to you.

So what is my point.  The point is that the pube is underappreciated despite the major role it plays in society.  It’s a cousin to shat and the negative stigma society attaches to it.   So I’d like to throw a shout out to the short hairs and feel free to add your own in the comments section:

  • Thank you for keeping my junk warm on cold winter days.
  • Your shapes are diverse and fascinating.  I love when a whimsical curly cue adheres to my jacket after getting off the bus.
  • Next time you pick an eyelash off of your shirt just think – is that really an eyelash or possibly just an overgrown brazilian?
  • Not getting enough fiber?  We probably get more than we think thanks to transport molecules and their prevalence in our lives.  How many do you think we ingest incidentally every day?  100?
  • You are not racist, discriminatory, and do not hold a grudge.  If someone shaves you off you just keep coming back.  Your feelings are not hurt.  Your gift is given to all despite race, religion, or creed.
  • Like everyone you have your enemies.  Your kryptonite is the evil alopecia.
  • Sometimes you match the drapes and sometimes you don’t.
  • You do not get old and turn gray or white but maintain your youthful luster forever.

I could go on but I want to hear from you.  And remember, the next time you find a pube in your morning coffee, drink up and smile a knowing smile.  You are now enlightened…

  1. January 9, 2012 at 2:12 pm

    Papa, this is a truly disturbing post. I love that your wife has a pet name for stray pubes. I am unfortunately now going to be more aware of any stray anything on my food.

  2. january
    January 26, 2012 at 4:40 pm

    My friend once informed me that Asians (her husband is Japanese) have straight pubes. Is your mind blown? I know mine was.

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