Home > Humor > Then I Realized There Was No Toilet Paper…

Then I Realized There Was No Toilet Paper…

While life is full of monotony and drudgery, there are extreme highs and lows that bring variety, excitement and color into our existence.  We all hope that the majority of those extremes will be highs:  new-found love, an adventurous roller coaster or sky dive, maybe even the perfect meal.  But in reality these extremes are just as often terrible as fantastic:  a loved one dies, someone breaks up with us, or we miss the last bus home from work.
But we have all experienced what I think is one of the lowest lows we can reach.  You know what I’m talking about.  It’s that moment when you are sitting on the toilet, having taken a righteous dump, and realized that there is no toilet paper left in the dispenser.  Not only are you literally caught with your pants down, you have nowhere to go.  No hope, no chance of escaping humiliation.  It is in that moment when your heart sinks into your stomach and tears well up in your eyes that you realize you have two choices:
1)  Shimmy out of the stall with your pants down and try to slip into the next available stall before anyone catches a glance of you and your dong awkwardly maneuvering from stall to stall
2)  Pull your pants as loosely as possible up around your buttocks, risking poo particles spreading across your underwear or pants.  Also, you still look like an idiot going from one stall to the other.  Everyone knows what has happened, and they are aware that you preferred to spread your poo onto your clothes than display your nudity in the public bathroom.
Either way, you are totally screwed. You would think that it would be a lesson to always check the roll before you squat.  But alas, we are a people who learn from repetition, and we’ll continue to experience this depressing low over and over until we die.  Its part of being mortal. 
  1. January 24, 2012 at 9:19 am

    I hope you don´t mind my copying your picture and informing about your blog-address in my own blog:
    Looking forward to your comment.
    Best wishes from Sweden.
    PS. It took some time to end my laughing 😀

  1. January 24, 2012 at 9:12 am

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